There's a moment in every woman's life when she stands in her closet and realizes she's been holding her breath for decades.

Mine came on a Wednesday afternoon, two weeks before my nephew’s October wedding. For the uninitiated, shapewear is a genteel euphemism for our modern-day corsets.

My finger brushed the textures of the arsenal I’d been slowly accumulating. Each piece holds a complicated truth —sometimes armor, sometimes chains. Each echoes a message I have heard my entire life.

“You are too much.”

Too loud. Too big. Too intense. Too opinionated. Too sensitive. Too emotional. Too aware. Too direct. Too confident. Too smart.

I pulled out my favorite mid-thigh bodysuit —the one that makes my booty pop and my “empress” dress fall just right —and had an epiphany. I had a choice.

The power wasn’t in sucking it in or letting it all hang out. It wasn’t in wearing or not wearing. The real power was in the choosing.

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xo,

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